Body Image: How to Transform Feelings of Low Self Worth
I’ll be the first to admit: I have succumbed to society’s warped mentality that people, particularly women, should look a certain way. Not only do I look in the mirror and judge what I see, but I find myself vocally critiquing women I don’t even know on television or in movies. When I question why these judgments are so automatic, it’s not difficult to figure out the reason.
Everywhere I look, even in quarantine, I’m being fed information about what I “should” look like. Forget about the obvious pencil-thin celebrities in nearly all the movies in my Netflix queue, or the fat-shaming that takes place on TV shows like “Friends” (every few episodes there seems to be a comment made on Monica’s weight-loss or old eating habits), but I see unfair beauty standards in advertisements or popular YouTube channels, too.
A couple of weeks ago, I was scrolling through Pinterest, trying to find inspiration for a desperately needed haircut. It wasn’t until my Pinterest board was full of pictures of cute styles for my hair type that I realized every woman in each photo was thin. When I went back to search for other hairstyles, I got the same result. I know that slim women are not the only ones getting medium-length haircuts, so I had to ask…what gives?!
Society has taught us, from a very young age, that being thin is ideal. From the mannequins in department stores, to the models advertising mascara on television, we are convinced that thin = beauty. Even ads on sites like Facebook and Twitter convince us to diet or try exercises “proven” to flatten our stomachs or tone our arms. In Eat Breathe Thrive’s Virtual Campfire Series this month, I heard echoes of these messages.
“It’s easy to succumb to society’s warped mentality that people, particularly women, should look a certain way.”
The Virtual Campfire series was created as a way to spur meaningful conversation among strangers about mental health and the human experience. The topic of this month’s Campfire was “The Body,” and Chelsea Roff—our amazing Founder and Director—discussed the ways in which women are taught to take up smaller spaces, emotionally, intellectually, and physically. Attendees of all ages and from all different parts of the globe resonated, sharing how early these messages began in their lives. Most of us agreed that childhood is where the judgments of our own bodies began. It’s no wonder that the media and advertisers alike all showcase the same body type; women, generation after generation, are all being told the same thing, from a very young age: You Are Small. So, that is what corporations promote.
If you think about it, corporations want us to feel shame about our bodies. It’s how they make their money. Don’t like what you see in the mirror? Buy a gym membership! Get the makeup Kylie Jenner wears! Don’t worry—we’ll offer payment plans for your plastic surgery! These companies exist to continue that narrative in our heads that we aren’t good enough, with the bonus “but you could be.”
For some people, their bodies can feel invalidated based on internal factors. If you suffer from chronic illnesses, as I do, it can be maddening when your organs or systems seem to be working against you, rather than with you. And if you don’t fit the mold of what our society tells us is ideal, it can be even more frustrating. If you aren’t thin, doctors may blame any illness or injury on weight. While it’s easy to fault professionals with thoughts like “Shouldn’t they know better?”, perhaps we can consider that they are being fed the same cultural and societal messages that we are all receiving. After all, they’re hard to avoid.
When talking about bodies both externally and internally, Chelsea made an excellent point: many of our issues with our external bodies come from internal messages of low self-worth or confidence. It’s a vicious cycle: advertisements convince us that we don’t fit their standard of beauty, so our confidence drops, which can encourage us to purchase those Spanx to hide our “fat,” or buy the bronzer to sculpt our cheekbones, which keeps the corporations in business, while simultaneously carrying on the image of what beauty is “supposed” to look like.
“Many of our issues with our external bodies come from internal messages of low self-worth or confidence.”
Photo credit: Kelsey Gilchriest
So, how do we stop ourselves from these default judgments towards our bodies, as well as others’? Maybe you recognize, like me, you find yourself saying “Jennifer Anniston sure looked better with longer hair,” before you even realize you’ve made a snap judgment. Maybe you, too, have noticed Pinterest drowning in tall, thin, long-haired women that you wished you looked like. You are not alone. It’s understandable that we make these judgments; even if we aren’t on social media, we still come across daily messages from corporations just waiting for us feel bad about our bodies so that they can profit off of us. The way we rebel? Love!
The ice-breaker Chelsea used during introductions in this past Campfire included the question “When does your body feel it’s best?” All of us had the opportunity to take a break from the judgments we’re disposed to most of the time and remind ourselves that it is possible to love our bodies. Some people mentioned activities such as dancing, swimming, or yoga as the moments when they felt best in their bodies. Others mentioned feeling the coolness of the breeze or the pool on a hot day. But what I gathered from all of these amazing peoples’ responses was this: it is possible to appreciate and love your body. Even if it starts with a small gratitude, like the ability to breathe in fresh air, or to hold yourself up during yoga.
“How do we rebel against default judgments and toxic messages about our bodies? Through love!”
I invite you, in this brief moment, to think of a time when your body feels its best. Perhaps, if you try this daily, or even weekly, you will notice your judgments decrease. Your body is beautiful.
If you relate to anything stated above, you may enjoy Eat Breathe Thrive’s Virtual Campfire series! This series was created as a way to foster connection and conversation among people you may not otherwise meet. During my first Campfire, I found myself relating with total strangers, and the quarantine loneliness that had crept into my life dissipated altogether. I invite you to join September’s Campfire, which will be focused on Identity. Perhaps you will come away feeling more connected with yourself and those around you, just as I did. Register for this free event here. We look forward to seeing you!
About The Author
Kelsey Gilchriest is a mental health advocate passionate about breaking down the stigmas that surround mental illness. While in treatment for an eating disorder, her therapist challenged her to use creativity to defy her perfectionism, and her own personal blog was born. The more she wrote and expressed her fears, hopes, and struggles openly and honestly, the more comments and messages she received from readers who saw themselves in her stories. Years later, Kelsey’s blog is still going strong as she continues advocating for those who feel voiceless and dismantling the idea that those with mental health struggles should stay silent.
Kelsey resides in Nashville, Tennessee, and works as a Peer Mentor at Equip. She enjoys yoga and photography in her spare time. Kelsey is thrilled to be writing for Eat Breathe Thrive, and thanks you for reading!